2019 Aspirations

Let's face it, Human evolution is half-baked… a state which holds eternal promise of something delicious for your species once you've collectively reached the land of enlightenment.

That said, your penchant for New Year’s Resolutions is not going to get you there. Never has, never will. Why? Because they are an ego-directed entrapment exercise – aka, another mutated widget of The Program that’s been neurochemically sewn into your genetic fabric since the Enslavers pulled you up off your knuckles and dickered with your twenty-first chromosome.

Sorry for the rant here, but this knee-jerk response to a brand “New Year” deserves some quality face-time in front of the proverbial mirror. So, do me a favor… stand upright now in your best possible “tree pose” and take a good look at yourself. Here you are, many days, weeks and months into the Earth Calendar. How have you fared so far?

Still hitting the gym? Still keeping the booze, the weed, the mac-and-cheese at arm’s length? Still keeping Mr. Johnson under house arrest until you can work your way into an emotionally-honest relationship? Still recycling? Including plastic? Still saving X-percent of your paycheck? Still taking those once-a-week time-outs from social media? And you’ve meditating how many days in a row now?

Congrats are in order if you’re still a disciple of discipline, still the Master of Your Universe. However, what’s your story gonna be when I check back in December? I wonder how many of you have ended up on the ash heap of broken promises? My bet? Most of you. Why? BECAUSE YOU’RE HUMAN… which, in my custodial language, translates to-

FLAWED

Now then, I have a proposal. Perhaps a solution.

Why not ditch the word “Resolution” and replace it with “Aspiration?”

Uh-huh. I can already hear a collective sigh of relief gushing through cyberspace. But let’s not let the burden that’s been lifted off your shoulders turn you into a puddle of sloth piss here. No, let’s aspire to a new game plan.

As a Custodian, I always have a list of maintenance chores to tackle. However, I purposely keep the time frame for accomplishing these tasks very flexible. A bit loose. I mean, why stress about it? From where I’m standing, there’s always going to be more foul corners to clean, polish or eliminate.

Just as there’s always going to be unpredictability in your HUMAN EXPERIENCE.

So, I implore you, keep it loose and keep a sense of humor while you craft your “LIST OF ASPIRATIONS.”

Not sure where to start? Allow me to make few suggestions. Twenty-three of them, to be exact. Pick one and have fun. Off we go--

FIND FLOW

Start with your breath, then relax the muscles behind your eyes.

FIND WONDER

If you follow my first suggestion, the second one is bound to happen.

FIND YOUR INNER REBEL

Resistance creates contrast, the well-spring of desire.

IMBIBE IN APPLE CIDER VINEGAR

It’s the shit. And it will eliminate some of that constipation in your mind-body connection.

KEEP FRESH LEMONS AND GROUND TUMERIC WITHIN REACH

Mix with clean water. Don’t panic; it’s organic.

MAKE YOUR BED FIRST THING IN THE MORNING

It awakens the brain, instigates a sense of order that you can carry with you through the rest of your day.

FART AS IF NOBODY’S WATCHING

Preferably near a dog so that you can quickly deflect guilt and inflict blame. Oh, and FYI, ass-smoke is healthier than mouth-smoke, so—

CHOOSE EDIBLES

I mean, come on – who doesn’t like cookies? Toss the pipe and rolling papers. And if cancer catches up with you, choose cannabis oil over chemo. I’ve mopped enough hospital wards to know that Big Pharma is just another enslaving institution.

SUSPEND JUDGEMENT

I know. A very hard thing to do, especially if you’re mentally constipated or committed to an “us versus them” POV. Every Human Being I’ve ever mopped up after carries an over-the-limit amount of emotional baggage. Just breath your way through it (especially in traffic). You’re not the only one capable of having a bad day.

WALK BAREFOOT ONCE IN AWHILE

Your DNA may not belong to this Earth, but you can still make a sensory connection.

WRITE A HANDWRITTEN LETTER

Writing in longhand can be magical. It slows reactive thought down and allows unexpected “feels” to enter the mindscape. Try it. Mail it. Surprise someone.

READ A POEM

OMG, come on, it won’t kill you! Poets aspire to inspire (or cleanse the negative). If you’re a man, read one from Emily Dickenson. If you’re a woman, try Rilke or Rumi. If you’re in a couch cuddle, get stoned and listen to Dylan, Leonard Cohen or Joni Mitchell’s “Blue.” The Boomers left us some jewels.

EXPAND YOUR MUSICAL PALETTE

If hip-hop’s your thing, try classical. If techno’s your beat, explore early-1970’s folk-rock. If diva pop vocals move you, dress-up like one and attend an opera.

PAINT or DRAW

On canvas, paper, a coffee mug, a bedroom wall or some ghetto barrier. I know of a group of Frat Brats who got together and painted a ninety-year-old lady’s house like a freakin’ Fabergé egg. She loved it.

RESCUE AN ANIMAL

The payback will be a lesson in unconditional love. If you can’t bring one home from the shelter, volunteer to walk a few dogs or cover some cat’s vet bill.

FACE A FEAR

Physical, phobic-based, or emotional. Choose the one that keeps gnawing at you. And investigate “tapping” or EMDR Therapy if you’re feeling really fucked up.

SEEK SILENCE

And you’ll find solace.

HELP SOMEONE IN AN UNORTHODOX FASHION

Creativity and Empathy can walk hand-in-hand – and they are the gifts that keep on giving.

STRETCH

I’m speaking physically, creatively, and experientially. This can include travel, adventure, or face-to-face conversation versus texting.

CAMP

Aspire to step out of your comfort zone for a brief spell. In other words, break the spell of your daily routine and material surroundings. And if the end is indeed coming, you’ll be better able to adapt.

EMBRACE MULTI-DIMENSIONAL THOUGHT

Step one: be the observer of your created “self” - that "I-Me" that won't set you free. Be the watcher of your behavior, of your enslaving thought loops.

RECOGNIZE WHEN YOU”RE GETTING HOOKED

There’s a pretty cool word in the Buddhist lexicon for this. It’s called “Shenpa.” Look it up.

BE LOVE

With emphasis on the “Be” - because Love is a cosmic force that matter takes – at the root of who and what you are, Dear Human.